Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Born-Again Virgins

I found an article discussing sex in the Middle Ages. (1) The author writes that, in the Middle Ages, virginity would have been an ideal to aspire to, but it was rarely achieved by commoners and nobles alike. 


However, women could still become born-again virgins: 

"The Church made it possible for women who not only had had sex, but who had mothered children, to confess their sins, perform years of penance and spend their remaining years in a convent. Women who chose this path renounced their so-called role in the “original sin” (of tempting Adam with the Fruit of Knowledge) and joined what was known as the Cult of the Virgin." 



Over the past few years, born-again virgins have again regained popularity. Some people are choosing to reclaim their virginity either spiritually or surgically. 


If you can recapture a kind of sexually virginal state, then virginity is not nearly as black-and-white as most of us think. Maybe it's a concept and not a fact.


So....What does it mean to lose your virginity? 

I have a feeling I will be returning to this topic many more times. 



(1) http://www.oddee.com/item_96646.aspx

Monday, November 28, 2011

Are you a virgin if you've only had oral sex?

What does virginity mean to you


Some people say they are a virgin if they have had oral sex, but not vaginal sex. Others say they are a virgin if they have had anal sex, but not vaginal sex. Others think they are not. 


People have different definitions about what it means to be a
virgin. These definitions are by-products of education, both
religious and non-religious, as well as personal experience. 


There's no right, or wrong. At LostMyV we are interested in gathering the varying definitions of virginity by collecting stories of virginity loss. 


Join our community by sharing your story. Every story, every meaning and every experience is unique. How did you lose your virginity? 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Most American teens who have had sex wish they had waited.

Seventeen Is the Average Age at First Sexual Intercourse for males and females. (1)


By the time they are high school seniors, 66% of girls and nearly 63% of boys report they have had intercourse. (2)


However, the majority of American teens who have had sex wish they had waited. Among sexually active girls, two-thirds say they didn't want to lose their virginity when they did or that they had mixed feelings about it. (3)


Why do teens have negative or mixed feelings about losing their virginity?


How can we change the culture of sexuality in the US and be more open to talking about and exploring our sexual bodies?

(1) Data from 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, Vital and Health Statistics, S.23, No.25, 2005
(2) US Centers for Disease Control. 2008-06-06. pp. table 61.
(3) Vital and Health Statistics. National Center for Health Statistics. 2002.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Does waiting too long to start having sex carry risks of its own?

Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later. Thus speculate researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies in a January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health.
Does waiting too long to start having sex carry risks of its own??
The authors write that the study "lends credence to research showing that abstinence-only education may actually increase health risks," adding that other approaches may better equip young people to avoid both short- and long-term sexual health consequences.
Many sexuality experts agree.
"In my view as a sexuality therapist since the 1970s, the abstinence-only approach is a public health hazard," Ogden said. "Sexual relationship is complex, and the moment of marriage is not a magic marker.
"Instead of making young people pledge 'no' until marriage, we need to be encouraging them to understand their own sexual responses and orientations, learn how to engage in sexual practices that are safe, and acquire intimacy skills that will lead them into caring relationships."
Coleman states, "While abstinence only programs seem to be helpful in delaying onset of sexual activity, there have been suggestions that this approach could cause more problems when sexual debut takes place due to insufficient preparation and knowledge of responsible sexual behavior.
They conclude that "this study is interesting because it suggests that sexual experimentation is a normal developmental process, and when this process is inhibited or not guided, there can be poor sexual health outcomes."
In this country, we place great emphasis on our sexuality. Why does talk about virginity still remain taboo?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Street Promotions




This past weekend I promoted LostMyV in downtown Boston by handing out some postcards. I designed the postcards such that anyone could write their story on the back if they felt compelled. I figured I would be a stranger to anyone I encountered, thus the experience would technically remain anonymous. I carried pens and a smile.


I forgot to remind myself that virginity is a hush-hush topic. This initial promotional experience was confirmation. A mix of responses accompanied my street promotions. Some people loved the idea, yet others shied away. Mothers lounging with their babies said they were not interested and young girls giggled amongst each other. Couples smiled awkwardly and groups of boys laughed.

One young mid-20s male with Ray-Bans and a black suit remarked, “You’d be surprised to hear that I’m still a virgin.” I must admit that I was startled. Not because he was good-looking, but because of his honesty.

I wonder what would compel people more to submit their story. Is face-to-face too confrontational? How can I make people – from all ages and sexual orientations - more comfortable talking about virginity? 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Exposing Virginity


Welcome to the LostMyV blog! 


We hope that LostMyV becomes a powerful, revealing and engaging experience. 

By collecting people's stories of virginity loss, rather than socio-demographic data, we hope to capture the wide variety of experiences and definitions of virginity loss that are out there. In so doing, we hope to challenge people’s assumptions of what constitutes as virginity loss. 

By publicizing what, for most people, is an intimate and private memory, we also hope to de-taboo virginity loss. 

Be it defined as a gift, a stigma, or as a process/passage, how virginity is defined influences the meanings associated with "losing it".

Please joins us in our exploration of virginity and virginity loss. Help us understand what is virginity and if virginity loss is different for men and women. Can someone lose their virginity twice?

We can't wait to read your story and your comments/questions in our blog. 

Joins us in this exciting adventure!